WARNING: EXTREMELY DISGUSTING POST

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay, enough with the disclaimers. If you're still with me and think, "Oh, I can handle anything", I may just prove you wrong herewith.

On Sunday night, Jenna and I were hanging out in the living room, per usual, and we were watching some animal show. Anyway, Jenna doesn't really watch shows for any length of time, but sometimes she'll watch for a minute or so, and that's what she was doing when I looked over and noticed that she had her hands down the back of her diaper. Now, it was kind of dark, since this was in the 8 o'clock hour, and I didn't have many lights on. Thus, I did not notice that anything was out of the ordinary after I told her to get her hands out of her diaper. A few seconds later, I noticed that she was rubbing her hands together, almost as if there was something, I don't know, FOREIGN, on them.

And then I smelled it. NASTY, NASTY, NASTY. Now see, I wasn't expecting anything to be in her diaper because I'd just changed her 15 minutes prior to this event. Turns out that Girlfriend had been busy in those 15 minutes, because she had explosive diarrhea (by far the worst she's ever had), which was now all over both hands. In the meantime, I'm trying to keep her from touching anything while trying to get the bag of wipes open with one hand; both were exercises in futility. First of all, Jenna didn't understand why I was grabbing her hands, and she didn't like it! I ended up letting go for a few seconds to get some wipes, by which time she had pushed a little cart, wiped some, ahem, mess on her bare tummy and, yes, my friends, raised her hands to her MOUTH. By this time, I'm like, "AAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" So I tried to wipe her off as best I could, then I ran upstairs to get a bath going, grabbed her quickly before any other mishaps occurred, changed her and got her in the bathtub.

All's well that ends well, I guess. The living room, on the other hand, did not smell so pleasant for a little bit. :)

And there you have it. If you have babysat or have kids of your own, you probably have a few stories of your own to tell. There may be some who think I shouldn't post stuff like this. To them I say, in a very mature way, a la "For Better Or For Worse", PPPBBBBBBBBBBTTTTHHHHHHBBBBBB. This is our family blog, and it's the stuff like this that we'll look back on as parents and laugh our heads off. Besides, I don't have stories like this from my mom, so when Jenna's a teenager and thinks I never do anything for her, I can say, "Please reference June 25th, 2008 and get back to me." :)