Why Very Pregnant Women Cannot Hurry

...pretty much because it is impossible to do so. Even if I were in a dark parking lot and had some maniac after me, I would be at her mercy (and probably have to buy flowers from her). I've become increasingly aware of this fact, but it was never more apparent than during my errand to Costco yesterday. We were having company over for dinner later that night, so I was trying to zip through the store, get what I needed and get out. Um, yeah...anyone ever tried to just get in, get out of Costco? It's an exercise in futility, especially if you're hungry and samples are still being given out. (As a side note, I learned a new trick for getting more than one sample: Reach over the lady's shoulder from behind while she's explaining the details to someone in front of her and then speed away. Then you can come back a few minutes later and get another...and if she gives you any guff, pull the "Excuse me, eating for two AND I'm sharing with my one year old!")

Anyway, so I'm trying to walk quickly through the store, and it's just not happening. I soon realized that trying to do so only results in feeling like everything necessary for childbirth is about to fall off right now. It's about as pleasant as it sounds.

I learned my lesson, folks. Slow down to a regular waddle, and you'll be just fine! Embrace the waddle! Give in to the waddle! Go over to the Dark Side Of The Waddle!!


Is it time to have this baby yet?