Yes, I'm a nerd.
But Kerry and I have enjoyed watching American Idol this year and we have enjoyed reading other people's opinions on different blogs (most notably Snark Raving Mad), so I'm going to give it a go this week and see how I do. We don't have cable, so we are relying on members of the YouTube community to help us out, and generally speaking, they have done so just fine. If you are interested in seeing the videos, you can check out the profiles of idolfreak08, idolfanatic4, and 23getready23.
So without further ado, here is what you have been up all night waiting for: Braden's opinions on a bunch of random kids singing songs that are as old as they are.
1 Ramiele Malubay: She was born in Saudi Arabia and she looked "Bomb" when she was born. She bites. She started "singing singing" when she was 12. You mean she isn't still 12? My bad. Ryan says that this is a "crucial time". Isn't every week? She is singing "Alone" by Heart. Here we go: Ouch. Not starting off so good, and what is that school-girl outfit with built-in girdle that she is wearing? She is off-key as she hits the big notes, and in fact she is being out-sung by the back-up singers. Kerry: "You gotta knock that out of the park after Carrie Underwood did it, and she didn't". Randy: Too big a song, a little pitchy. He gets Ramielle's but-look-how-cute-I-am pout as a reward. Paula: Blah blah blah I'm trying to nicely say that you sucked it up blah blah blah. Simon: Not as bad as Randy said, but calls it shrieky and shouting. Then he ends with a very strange non-compliment. Simon is wrong and Randy is right and Paula is dumb. Kerry agrees with Simon about the shrieking. Ramiele says that her voice went bye-bye. After that performance, so will she. Braden's rating: 3/10 Kerry: 4/10
2 Jason Castro: Apparently today is his birthday. Apparently he is celebrating by getting really high and then being interviewed. He is singing "Fragile" by Sting. Here we go: He starts out by burping into the mic... or if those were words, I didn't understand them. I can't listen to him sing without being endlessly distracted by his breathing heavily into the mic. Every H that he sings comes out as a mini-boom. I have nothing remarkable to say about this performance. Typical Jason: good voice ruined by a boring selection and his breathing into the mic and his constipated facial expressions. Kerry: "He's pretty gutsy to keep throwing in foreign languages" Randy: It was aaaight. It was nice. Paula: blah blah blah a little safe blah blah blah. Simon: he starts out with "okay" everytime that happens it is going to be bad... sure enough, he says it sounds like someone outside the subway station and then says Jason isn't taking it seriously. Then he ends with "sorry"... doubly bad. Ryan asks Jason if he takes the show seriously... what is he supposed to respond? "um, no Ryan, actually I hate being here and hope to get voted off, but thanks for asking. By the way, do you want to smoke a joint with me afterwards?" Ryan's brilliant follow-up: "But you are in it to win it, right?" This razor-sharp in-depth reporting brought to you by Seacrest enterprises. Braden's rating: 5.5/10 Kerry: 7.5/10.
3 Syesha Mercado: Glad to know Syesha wasn't born on a hot winter's day. Thanks for clarifying, Syesha. This interview makes her sound of low intelligence. She says "I'm still a kid" and she sounds like it. She is singing "If I Was Your Woman" by Stephanie Mills. Here we go: She starts off with some odd animal mating call sound. Now we are halfway in and I'm still bored. She needs to get better quickly. And now she can't keep in sync with the backup singers for the 5 notes that they sing with her. Now it's over and I'm still not blown away. Kerry: "I think she sang it pretty well, but I don't really like the song, so maybe that's skewing my view of the overall performance." Randy: This is the best I've ever heard you sing... steller, unbelievable, etc... he doesn't know how to end a compliment. Paula: blah blah blah flipped it blah blah blah big compliment from Paula. Simon: doesn't think it was as good as Randy. Paula was smiling from the first note. Perhaps if we can figure out which animal mating call the first note was, then we will learn more about Paula. Braden's rating: 4/10 Kerry: 6.5/10
4 Chikezie Eze: He's a 9/11 baby. Do you notice that sometimes when he talks he keeps his eyes closed? He is singing "If Only For One Night" by Luther Vandross. Here we go: Another first line off-key moment. Now he is playing the mac daddy with his front row fans. All-in-all he puts out a fair performance of a boring song. Kerry: "It was all right. He didn't suck as bad as I thought he would." Randy: I don't like making comparisons, but... she rocked, you didn't. Paula: blah blah blah great job blah blah blah textures blah blah blah. Simon: You sang it well, but your performance was cheesy. I agree. Simon: Show originality. I agree. So does Randy. Braden's rating: 6/10 Kerry: 6/10
5 Brooke White: So Brooke is a piano prodigy. Figures. People that can play by ear make me mad. I'm jealous. She is singing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. An odd choice, I think. Here we go: I like her hair straight. Ouch she had to restart after one note. She recovers well, though. I love Brooke. I want to move next door to her so that we can hang out. I'm watching the plants in the front rows of the crowd and they can't keep their silly hand-waving in sync. Did I mention that I love Brooke? I can't wait to buy her album. Maybe she and her husband can come over and we can all bake cookies together. Kerry: "it was pretty good, but I cringed for her at the beginning." Randy: (about her starting over) "A lot of good professionalism there." Brooke: "No, that's not good." That's my girl keeping it rizzle. Paula: blah blah blah better than last week you have your own niche blah blah blah. Simon: Definitely good enough for another week, but.......... Ryan says it was brave to restart. Brooke: "Generally you shouldn't do that." Keeping it rizzle. After we bake cookies, we can play a board game. It'll be fun. Kerry: Thanks so much for making me crave cookie dough. I think Braden should go make me some now. Braden's rating: 8.5/10 Kerry: 8/10
Paula doesn't seem too drunk today.
6 Michael Johns: Michael can't remember his birthday. Stuff. He is singing "We Are The Champions" by Queen. A tall order. Here we go: He comes out rockin! I'm loving it so far. Awkward transition from the We Will Rock You part of the song to the Champions part. A couple funny notes here and there, but I'm plum impressed so far. He isn't doing too much original with the song, but I'm not sure what can be done with it. He is having a hard time with some of the high notes. Kerry: "I was entertained" Gladiator: "Are you not entertained?" Randy can't speak because of the cheering crowd. Randy: You used the big old voice you got. That was the best performance yet. I agree. Paula: blah blah blah shut my mouth blah blah blah shining city on a hill blah blah blah. Simon sees star potential for the first time. Simon: tonight you just got it right. I have to say that it seems like he can sing Queen, but I haven't liked anything else by him so far. Braden's rating: 8/10 Kerry: 8/10
7 Carly Smithson: Aaaah! Naked baby picture. Aaaaah! Scary little girl picture. She is singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. This is a song that I think Kristy Lee should sing. Here we go: I hope she will be wearing sleeves. NO!!! she isn't. At first I liked how she started and then I realized it was one of the backup singers. Man she is ugly with that crappy makeup and hairstyle. Oh here comes the big part of the song, get ready for screaming in 3, 2, 1, and yes here it is. And she ends on a terrible note. Kerry: "I'm not impressed with that ending. I don't like it when she gets shrieky shouty." Randy: I didn't love it. The note at the end went sharp. it was just okay. Paula: blah blah blah I love what you did at the end (Randy makes the reasonable point that what she did at the end wasn't in tune) blah blah blah. Simon: Parts of the song you sang well, but something didn't quite work. You should lighten up. Carly's excuse: I went to the bathroom before. Ryan continues his reporting brilliance with this question: "did you flush?" I'm just disappointed that he didn't wait for a response. With Carly's PR skills she probably would have answered. Braden's rating: 5/10 and only that high because she did okay in the non-shrieky parts. Kerry: 6.5/10.
8 David Archuleta: He might miss prom by being on American Idol. Lots of girl volunteers. Oh he has a girlfriend. She looks like a nice Mormon girl. I've never seen his Dad without a baseball cap on. Now we are seeing a very cute video of young David dancing. As we are watching Jenna is over in her corner dancing around. How cute. David is singing "You're The Voice" by David Foster. Here we go: Bad start. Too low for him. Oh no it's another commie song. He's doing much much better on the singing. It got a little sloppy at the end. Great middle, though. Kerry: I think he was trying to show he can work the crowd. Randy: strange song choice (I agree) but very nice. Paula: blah blah blah I'm just kidding blah blah blah. Simon: didn't like it at all. Sounds like a theme-park performance with animated creatures and everyone joins in together. "I would be amazed if you chose the song yourself" This brings up a rumor that Kerry heard that David's Dad is picking the songs for him. Braden's message to David's Dad: STOP PICKING COMMIE LIBERAL FEEL-GOOD SONGS. Braden's rating: 7/10, mostly for the middle of the song. Kerry: 8/10.
9 Kristy Lee Cook: A Seattle baby! She looked exactly the same at 4 as she does now. She is singing "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood. Here we go: She starts off well enough. Nothing special, though. She just said God Bless the USAaaaaayieaaiaaaaaieeeaa. Nothing liking singing the number 1 patriotic song around to try to rouse up votes, and she needs them. I think she came into tonight as the one on the chopping block. Kerry: "I just can't really get excited about her but it was better than the past couple weeks." Randy: very nice performance. Paula: blah blah blah um blah blah blah. did she just say "pitch problems"? Simon: You're best performance by a mile. Clever song choice, and it will keep you in the competition. Kerry disagrees. I disagree with Kerry. I think Ramiele is going to go tomorrow. Braden's rating: 6/10. Kerry: 7/10.
Wow, this live-blogging thing is a lot of typing.
10 David Cook: My first thought at seeing David's baby photo: "What is that huge noggin!" David: "I had a huge skull". Me: yeah. He is singing "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. What? Did I read that right? Michael Jackson? Okay... Here we go: I can't understand what he is mumbling. Well he is certainly coming at this song from a non-MJ direction. So far it actually isn't that bad. In fact, I kind of like it when he isn't mumbling. Kerry: "It was better than I thought it was going to be but the ending was crap, so it lowered my rating. And by the way, FREAKING CUT YOUR HAIR! I mean, what is that mop?" Randy: You might be the one to win the whole lot. Then he doesn't know how to finish his compliment. Paula: blah blah blah will you have my baby? blah blah blah. Simon: amazing. Braden's rating: 7/10. Kerry: 6.5/10.
So now to put those in order (average Braden and Kerry score):
Brooke: 8.25
Michael: 8
David A: 7.5
David C: 6.75
Kristy Lee: 6.5
Jason: 6.5
Chikezie: 6
Carly: 5.75
Syesha: 5.25
Ramiele: 3.5
Finally, predictions for the bottom 3:
Braden: Ramiele, Kristy, Carly. Ramiele goes home.
Kerry: Ramiele, Kristy, Syesha. Kristy goes home.
But Kerry and I have enjoyed watching American Idol this year and we have enjoyed reading other people's opinions on different blogs (most notably Snark Raving Mad), so I'm going to give it a go this week and see how I do. We don't have cable, so we are relying on members of the YouTube community to help us out, and generally speaking, they have done so just fine. If you are interested in seeing the videos, you can check out the profiles of idolfreak08, idolfanatic4, and 23getready23.
So without further ado, here is what you have been up all night waiting for: Braden's opinions on a bunch of random kids singing songs that are as old as they are.
1 Ramiele Malubay: She was born in Saudi Arabia and she looked "Bomb" when she was born. She bites. She started "singing singing" when she was 12. You mean she isn't still 12? My bad. Ryan says that this is a "crucial time". Isn't every week? She is singing "Alone" by Heart. Here we go: Ouch. Not starting off so good, and what is that school-girl outfit with built-in girdle that she is wearing? She is off-key as she hits the big notes, and in fact she is being out-sung by the back-up singers. Kerry: "You gotta knock that out of the park after Carrie Underwood did it, and she didn't". Randy: Too big a song, a little pitchy. He gets Ramielle's but-look-how-cute-I-am pout as a reward. Paula: Blah blah blah I'm trying to nicely say that you sucked it up blah blah blah. Simon: Not as bad as Randy said, but calls it shrieky and shouting. Then he ends with a very strange non-compliment. Simon is wrong and Randy is right and Paula is dumb. Kerry agrees with Simon about the shrieking. Ramiele says that her voice went bye-bye. After that performance, so will she. Braden's rating: 3/10 Kerry: 4/10
2 Jason Castro: Apparently today is his birthday. Apparently he is celebrating by getting really high and then being interviewed. He is singing "Fragile" by Sting. Here we go: He starts out by burping into the mic... or if those were words, I didn't understand them. I can't listen to him sing without being endlessly distracted by his breathing heavily into the mic. Every H that he sings comes out as a mini-boom. I have nothing remarkable to say about this performance. Typical Jason: good voice ruined by a boring selection and his breathing into the mic and his constipated facial expressions. Kerry: "He's pretty gutsy to keep throwing in foreign languages" Randy: It was aaaight. It was nice. Paula: blah blah blah a little safe blah blah blah. Simon: he starts out with "okay" everytime that happens it is going to be bad... sure enough, he says it sounds like someone outside the subway station and then says Jason isn't taking it seriously. Then he ends with "sorry"... doubly bad. Ryan asks Jason if he takes the show seriously... what is he supposed to respond? "um, no Ryan, actually I hate being here and hope to get voted off, but thanks for asking. By the way, do you want to smoke a joint with me afterwards?" Ryan's brilliant follow-up: "But you are in it to win it, right?" This razor-sharp in-depth reporting brought to you by Seacrest enterprises. Braden's rating: 5.5/10 Kerry: 7.5/10.
3 Syesha Mercado: Glad to know Syesha wasn't born on a hot winter's day. Thanks for clarifying, Syesha. This interview makes her sound of low intelligence. She says "I'm still a kid" and she sounds like it. She is singing "If I Was Your Woman" by Stephanie Mills. Here we go: She starts off with some odd animal mating call sound. Now we are halfway in and I'm still bored. She needs to get better quickly. And now she can't keep in sync with the backup singers for the 5 notes that they sing with her. Now it's over and I'm still not blown away. Kerry: "I think she sang it pretty well, but I don't really like the song, so maybe that's skewing my view of the overall performance." Randy: This is the best I've ever heard you sing... steller, unbelievable, etc... he doesn't know how to end a compliment. Paula: blah blah blah flipped it blah blah blah big compliment from Paula. Simon: doesn't think it was as good as Randy. Paula was smiling from the first note. Perhaps if we can figure out which animal mating call the first note was, then we will learn more about Paula. Braden's rating: 4/10 Kerry: 6.5/10
4 Chikezie Eze: He's a 9/11 baby. Do you notice that sometimes when he talks he keeps his eyes closed? He is singing "If Only For One Night" by Luther Vandross. Here we go: Another first line off-key moment. Now he is playing the mac daddy with his front row fans. All-in-all he puts out a fair performance of a boring song. Kerry: "It was all right. He didn't suck as bad as I thought he would." Randy: I don't like making comparisons, but... she rocked, you didn't. Paula: blah blah blah great job blah blah blah textures blah blah blah. Simon: You sang it well, but your performance was cheesy. I agree. Simon: Show originality. I agree. So does Randy. Braden's rating: 6/10 Kerry: 6/10
5 Brooke White: So Brooke is a piano prodigy. Figures. People that can play by ear make me mad. I'm jealous. She is singing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. An odd choice, I think. Here we go: I like her hair straight. Ouch she had to restart after one note. She recovers well, though. I love Brooke. I want to move next door to her so that we can hang out. I'm watching the plants in the front rows of the crowd and they can't keep their silly hand-waving in sync. Did I mention that I love Brooke? I can't wait to buy her album. Maybe she and her husband can come over and we can all bake cookies together. Kerry: "it was pretty good, but I cringed for her at the beginning." Randy: (about her starting over) "A lot of good professionalism there." Brooke: "No, that's not good." That's my girl keeping it rizzle. Paula: blah blah blah better than last week you have your own niche blah blah blah. Simon: Definitely good enough for another week, but.......... Ryan says it was brave to restart. Brooke: "Generally you shouldn't do that." Keeping it rizzle. After we bake cookies, we can play a board game. It'll be fun. Kerry: Thanks so much for making me crave cookie dough. I think Braden should go make me some now. Braden's rating: 8.5/10 Kerry: 8/10
Paula doesn't seem too drunk today.
6 Michael Johns: Michael can't remember his birthday. Stuff. He is singing "We Are The Champions" by Queen. A tall order. Here we go: He comes out rockin! I'm loving it so far. Awkward transition from the We Will Rock You part of the song to the Champions part. A couple funny notes here and there, but I'm plum impressed so far. He isn't doing too much original with the song, but I'm not sure what can be done with it. He is having a hard time with some of the high notes. Kerry: "I was entertained" Gladiator: "Are you not entertained?" Randy can't speak because of the cheering crowd. Randy: You used the big old voice you got. That was the best performance yet. I agree. Paula: blah blah blah shut my mouth blah blah blah shining city on a hill blah blah blah. Simon sees star potential for the first time. Simon: tonight you just got it right. I have to say that it seems like he can sing Queen, but I haven't liked anything else by him so far. Braden's rating: 8/10 Kerry: 8/10
7 Carly Smithson: Aaaah! Naked baby picture. Aaaaah! Scary little girl picture. She is singing "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. This is a song that I think Kristy Lee should sing. Here we go: I hope she will be wearing sleeves. NO!!! she isn't. At first I liked how she started and then I realized it was one of the backup singers. Man she is ugly with that crappy makeup and hairstyle. Oh here comes the big part of the song, get ready for screaming in 3, 2, 1, and yes here it is. And she ends on a terrible note. Kerry: "I'm not impressed with that ending. I don't like it when she gets shrieky shouty." Randy: I didn't love it. The note at the end went sharp. it was just okay. Paula: blah blah blah I love what you did at the end (Randy makes the reasonable point that what she did at the end wasn't in tune) blah blah blah. Simon: Parts of the song you sang well, but something didn't quite work. You should lighten up. Carly's excuse: I went to the bathroom before. Ryan continues his reporting brilliance with this question: "did you flush?" I'm just disappointed that he didn't wait for a response. With Carly's PR skills she probably would have answered. Braden's rating: 5/10 and only that high because she did okay in the non-shrieky parts. Kerry: 6.5/10.
8 David Archuleta: He might miss prom by being on American Idol. Lots of girl volunteers. Oh he has a girlfriend. She looks like a nice Mormon girl. I've never seen his Dad without a baseball cap on. Now we are seeing a very cute video of young David dancing. As we are watching Jenna is over in her corner dancing around. How cute. David is singing "You're The Voice" by David Foster. Here we go: Bad start. Too low for him. Oh no it's another commie song. He's doing much much better on the singing. It got a little sloppy at the end. Great middle, though. Kerry: I think he was trying to show he can work the crowd. Randy: strange song choice (I agree) but very nice. Paula: blah blah blah I'm just kidding blah blah blah. Simon: didn't like it at all. Sounds like a theme-park performance with animated creatures and everyone joins in together. "I would be amazed if you chose the song yourself" This brings up a rumor that Kerry heard that David's Dad is picking the songs for him. Braden's message to David's Dad: STOP PICKING COMMIE LIBERAL FEEL-GOOD SONGS. Braden's rating: 7/10, mostly for the middle of the song. Kerry: 8/10.
9 Kristy Lee Cook: A Seattle baby! She looked exactly the same at 4 as she does now. She is singing "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood. Here we go: She starts off well enough. Nothing special, though. She just said God Bless the USAaaaaayieaaiaaaaaieeeaa. Nothing liking singing the number 1 patriotic song around to try to rouse up votes, and she needs them. I think she came into tonight as the one on the chopping block. Kerry: "I just can't really get excited about her but it was better than the past couple weeks." Randy: very nice performance. Paula: blah blah blah um blah blah blah. did she just say "pitch problems"? Simon: You're best performance by a mile. Clever song choice, and it will keep you in the competition. Kerry disagrees. I disagree with Kerry. I think Ramiele is going to go tomorrow. Braden's rating: 6/10. Kerry: 7/10.
Wow, this live-blogging thing is a lot of typing.
10 David Cook: My first thought at seeing David's baby photo: "What is that huge noggin!" David: "I had a huge skull". Me: yeah. He is singing "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. What? Did I read that right? Michael Jackson? Okay... Here we go: I can't understand what he is mumbling. Well he is certainly coming at this song from a non-MJ direction. So far it actually isn't that bad. In fact, I kind of like it when he isn't mumbling. Kerry: "It was better than I thought it was going to be but the ending was crap, so it lowered my rating. And by the way, FREAKING CUT YOUR HAIR! I mean, what is that mop?" Randy: You might be the one to win the whole lot. Then he doesn't know how to finish his compliment. Paula: blah blah blah will you have my baby? blah blah blah. Simon: amazing. Braden's rating: 7/10. Kerry: 6.5/10.
So now to put those in order (average Braden and Kerry score):
Brooke: 8.25
Michael: 8
David A: 7.5
David C: 6.75
Kristy Lee: 6.5
Jason: 6.5
Chikezie: 6
Carly: 5.75
Syesha: 5.25
Ramiele: 3.5
Finally, predictions for the bottom 3:
Braden: Ramiele, Kristy, Carly. Ramiele goes home.
Kerry: Ramiele, Kristy, Syesha. Kristy goes home.
2 comments:
I am one of your interested readers. :)
I'm not much of a TV watcher but I do sometimes watch the youtube clips and read the recaps so I enjoyed your post. Thanks!
Thanks, eveleaf! Yeah, we don't have cable or anything, so when we do watch something, it's either a DVD or whatever we can get online.
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