Sunday, November 9, 2008

My Little Girls

Regarding my last post, it was about 40 minutes from the time I went back to bed until Katie started screaming again.  Who called it?  Who called it???

Jenna is systematically handing me everything of Katie's over the closed gate.  She cannot leave the swing alone for the life of her.  Neither can she leave the bouncy seat alone, which she refers to as Katie's "wocky wocky."  Jenna has her own "wocky wocky", i.e. her rocking chair.  Somehow Katie's is cooler.  Also, Jenna apparently took her pants off earlier, tried to put them back on, and asked for help from Daddy.  Daddy's response was, "I can't right now, I'm holding Katie."  Jenna's response?  She immediately kicked Katie in the side of the head.  Nice.  Jenna's become a little bit bratty lately.  She is sliding into the tantrum, jerky stage of toddlerhood, and Katie's coming has just sped it up, I think.  She is still a very good kiddo for the most part, but there are some definite changes for the worse.  We're going to have to find some kind of time out place and instigate a rule for when she has this kind of behavior, because I'm definitely not going to tolerate her kicking her sister in the head or hitting herself or others.  The only other times I have used time out were months ago when she and I had a battle of wills over her taking her glasses off.  I'm kind of sad that we need to bust it out again, but such is parenthood, I guess.

4 comments:

CarolynMiller27 said...

Yikes-o-rama. Kids! Good luck with Jenna.

We've used so many different discipline techniques over the years and none of them have stuck for very long. We just can't seem to find a really good one. We use time outs the most, but they don't seem very effect in preventing future bad behavior. They more or less just get the naughty kid out of our faces for the time being.

At school Amy and Scott use a green light, yellow light, red light system. All the kids have their names on clips next to corresponding paper lights. If they break a rule, their clip is moved to yellow as a warning. If they misbehave again their clip is moved to red and they lose a have to stay in for part of recess.

We do something similar at home with Amy and Scott, but without the clips. They lose privilages or sometimes they have to pay us some of their money if they break the rules. These steps seem to work well for the big kids.

As for teaching toddlers, that's a whole other ball of wax. They're so unreasonable and too young to really get cause and effect of their behaviors.

Wow, this was a really, really long comment. Good luck!

LintyPuppy said...

Don't forget...Jenna is still little. And she's in the hitting/kicking/biting stage. "Time out" isn't going to teach her not to hurt Katie, it will teach her that Katie's needs are more important than hers, so getting negative attention is better than getting no attention at all. I actually am not a huge fan of time outs, but every parent has to do what works best for them and their kids.

Lucy kicked, bit, and hit Amy when Amy was tiny, and it was her way of saying to us, "Hey, remember me?" because she didn't have the vocabulary or emotional awareness to communicate how she was feeling. And she was 2 1/2 when Amy was born.

Here's my unsolicited advice: Just like you run to meet Katie's needs right away when she starts to cry, you've got to do the same for Jenna. If she wants help with her pants, then Katie gets put down for the 15 seconds it takes to help Jenna. Otherwise, Jenna's going to think she's been replaced, and you'll have an angry, resentful, and hurtful child on your hands.

Pray about it. Heavenly Father will help you be the mother you want to be and guide you to do the things that will raise up happy, healthy daughters.

Gina

CarolynMiller27 said...

Gina, that's good advice.

It can be hard to put down that snugly little baby, but they won't be injured by a few moments of crying so you can tend to your other children or even to yourself.

Just this morning I had to put Ezra in the middle of my bed so I could use the bathroom. He screamed his head off for a good 5 minutes, but what could I do?! I had to use the bathroom!

Good luck again, Kerry. Parenting sure is an adventure and there are so many different routes to take and none of them are totally right or wrong. That makes it really challenging.

Ker said...

I understand what you're saying, but at the same time, I don't want Jenna to get the idea that she's the center of the universe, either, just like Katie isn't. It's a fine line, and I don't want her learning that every time she wants me, she gets me right away. So we'll just take each situation as it comes. I mentioned time-out because it's what I grew up with and what I know, but I do plan on doing some research to figure out what might work best with Jenna. It's uncharted territory! :) I've also been trying to have Jenna and Mommy time, so Jenna knows she is still important to me, and Braden has also been spending one-on-one time with her.

Ahhh, parenting! ;)